#clay x reader angst

[misschanadlerbong]

Chapter 13 Pt.1 - Perfect

Summary: Just senior prom.

Warnings: none.

Genre: Fluff with some angst towards the end.

Word Count: 2.9k

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Finally, the day of prom came, and you were all set to get ready and dance your ass off tonight. Jessica was also at your place because you needed her to help with makeup, hair, and stuff you had no idea about. Both the boys were going to pick you up from your place.

Jessica asked in confirmation “Dress?”

“Check!”

“Hair accessories?”

“Check!”

And…did you put a straightener to heat?”

“Oh, Jess do you realize that you are going through this checklist for the fifth time? It is all good even if we leave something out that we are not, so what’s the big deal? Isn’t today all about having fun just chill babe?”

“Y/N this is our last school dance it has to be perfect.” she declared.

You could never win against Jessica in a matter like this, so you just rolled your eyes and followed everything that Jessica told you about. You both went to a full regime of skin care and then she did your makeup and hair.

The theme of the senior prom was ‘Masquerade Ball’ and you picked up a perfect corset dress. It was a sequin dress the corset was black with a tint of golden to it and the skirt was golden with a tint of black at the very bottom of it with embroidered flower patterns. It also had a ribbon that went around your waist and tied into a bow on your back.

You had a last look in the mirror before going into the living room where your parents were waiting to see you. You looked at yourself and, you had to admit, you looked like a goddamn princess and the glow added to your face thinking about Clay made you look even better.

You heard the doorbell, “Honey your dates are here.” your mom shouted from the living room.

You and Jessica walked into the living room and seeing you both your mother exclaimed “Oh sweet Jesus! Don’t you two look beautiful?”

Your father was too startled to say anything, he was shocked at the sight in front of him. He always saw you like his little girl who needed her father’s help in everything but now he saw a well-raised beautiful young woman. Seeing you, your father shed a tear as he was overwhelmed, he tried his best to hide but could not.

You walked up to your dad and said “Aw Dad!” and gave him a warm hug.

Your eyes met Clay. He was wearing a tuxedo and was looking smoking hot. You walk over toward Clay and said, “Who knew my Nerd could pull off a tuxedo?” Clay simply grinned. He was staring deep into your eyes it seemed like he wanted to say something but was not letting it out “What?” you asked.

“You look…” he sighed “Seraphic!” he finally said.

Justin sauntered to Jessica, gave her a sweet kiss, and said: “Hello, gorgeous!” He then turned towards you and said “And Y/N you, you look terrific. I have never seen you like this before.”

Your lips curved into a smile and said, “Thanks Justin, you look great too.”

“Um Y/N I got something for you,” said Clay offering a corsage. You stretched your hand and allowed Clay to put a corsage on your wrist.

“Oh my god, Orchid? This is beautiful! I got something for you too Jensen. Mom, can you pass that?” you asked your mom to pass a boutonniere you especially got for Clay. You pinned the boutonniere to his jacket.”

“Shall we princess?” asked Clay with courtesy. But your father stopped you both.

“So, Clay Jensen, right?” your father questioned.

“Yes, sir.”

“Bring her back till 11, okay?” he demanded.

“Yes, sir,” Clay said like an obedient boyfriend.

You all walked out of the house stopping on the porch you asked Clay “So where is our ride? I mean I asked you out, the least you could do is get us a Limo. Right, Jess?”

Jessica nodded in agreement and raised her eyebrow at Justin in question.

“Okay, I deserve that. Justin and Jessica are going with Charlie and Alex in an actual Limo. I have a different plan for us.” Said Clay.

“Oh really? What is it?” You jumped with excitement.

“I know what you love more than a Limo, this!” said Clay pointing his index finger towards Tony’s Mustang.

“Oh, my fucking god! Tony’s Mustang? How did you convince him?” you asked in disbelief.

“Well, seems like he’d do anything for his best friend he knows how important you are to me and how much you love this car, so he agreed.” Clay offered his hand and asked, “Shall we madame?”

You held his hand and replied, “Oui, monsieur.”

You all arrived at the venue decided by your school. It was a big ballroom with a dancing space near the DJ and there were many round tables arranged for the seating. The room was decorated with every shade of white flowers. Exquisite chandeliers hung above the ceiling giving the room a royal aesthetic.

You and the gang took some drinks and hit the dance floor. You danced to many songs. Tony did the job just right as a DJ, you tried so hard to convince him to join the prom with everybody but being a DJ was his escape from socializing and dancing.

You and Jessica danced your ass off to the song ‘Best Friend’ by Doja Cat and Saweetie and decided to take some rest. Clay was just standing in one corner smiling at you as you danced. You walked up to him and urged “Oh come on Clay, we are at our Prom, we are supposed to Dance you know. Haven’t you read about proms in the library?”

“Ha-ha very funny. I can’t dance. Plus, it is such a pleasure seeing you dancing.”

You pouted at his response and to make it up to you he pecked your lips and offered you a drink.

You both were standing in one corner and talking and observing others. Your eyes fell on Charlie and Alex dancing to a slow song. They both were wearing tuxedos with matching boutonnieres pinned to their jackets and held each other while moving swiftly to the beats of the song. Then you saw Jessica and Justin dancing just beside them, it felt like love was in the air.

As you both were enjoying watching and talking a tall dark-haired boy approached you both.

“Hey Y/N, you look amazing and you too Clay you look fine in that tux,” he said.

“Hi, Zach. Thanks! You don’t look so bad yourself either.” you smiled.

“Um, Clay…I was wondering if I can borrow your date for a dance?”

You looked at Clay and said, “I don’t know Zach, I am pretty tired.”

“Come on Y/N it’s just one dance I am asking for, please?” Zach insisted.

Clay seemed like he had no problem with you two dancing together, “No, Y/N if you want to, then please. I will be right here watching you.” said Clay.

You nodded and proceeded towards the dance floor with Zach. Song ‘The Way, I Loved You’ by Taylor Swift started playing in the background and you both found your rhythm to dance. You held one of Zach’s hands and his other hand rested on your waist. Zach swirled you around a few times and you both were back to facing each other.

“Y/N I’d like to say something,” asked Zach.

“Yeah?”

“See I know we got off on the wrong foot. But I miss my time with you. I regret saying whatever I said. The thing was that I was too scared to put my game in jeopardy. But I didn’t realize that you were equally as important…” you cut him off “But Zach…”

“No, please listen to me. Breaking up with you was a huge mistake, will you ever be able to forgive me? I know you are with Clay now so the least I could ask for is forgiveness” he asked with innocence in his eyes.

“Of course, Zach, I already forgave you a long time ago. To be honest, I am grateful to you, if you never broke up with me, I would have never realized that I had feelings for Clay, and now hearing all those words from you made me realize exactly how I feel about him. So, thank you.”

While you both were dancing Justin and Jessica approached Clay and Justin asked “Dude, what is she doing with Zach?”

“Zach wanted to dance with Y/N so they’re dancing.”

“And you let her?” asked Justin sounding annoyed.

“Yeah, and she does not need my permission I am her boyfriend, not her master or anything and additionally they are just dancing what is wrong with that? It’s prom after all” replied Clay.

“Clay, you don’t let your serious girlfriend dance with her ex with whom the things were still complicated…”

“Oh yeah, Clay sure they are dancing, and look at them so adorable right? Whereas it should be you looking into her eyes the way Zach is. But I am sure this dance will not stir Y/N’s feelings back towards Zach.” Jessica said sarcastically.

Clay started to feel insecure and decided to make a move. He walked up to you as you expected him to. The only thing that could provoke Clay was jealousy and Jess played that card just right.

As soon as he held your hand to dance Tony changed the slow song to some rock music “Seriously Tony?!” you yelled in frustration.

“Hey, it’s okay, we can just jump around like these crazy people here, right?”

A grin took over your pout and Clay and you jumped around the dance floor feeling yourself and being lost in the music.

You and Clay found a seat for yourself to take a break and helped yourself with some food.

“Y/N? Can I talk to you?” a familiar voice came from behind you.

Before you could say anything, Clay howled “What the hell Bryce?”

“Hey man, I just wanna talk to her, just chill, okay?”

You turned towards Bryce and gave his request a thought. You decided to hear him out, whatever he wanted to say. You stood up but Clay pulled you back. You assured him by saying “It is okay Clay. I’ll be fine. What can he possibly do in a room full of people? I will be back, okay?”

Clay nodded in apprehension, and you followed Bryce to a corner of the room. You crossed your arms around your chest and asked, “What is it, Bryce?”

“Look Y/N I wanted to thank you for not taking any serious steps against me. I could have lost my scholarship and my chance to go to school and I want to apologize for whatever I did, I am sorry.”

“Bryce, everybody deserves to go to college, and you do too. No matter how you are everybody deserves a chance, so I gave it to you, and it is not a big deal.”

“Yeah, and I am grateful for that. I didn’t realize what I was doing. I was insecure and acted like a dick…” you cut him off and said in agreement “Well that is true.”

Before Bryce could say something, he was cut off by Clay “Everything okay babe?”

“Yeah, he was just saying something. Everything is fine.”

“Clay let me talk to her, please?” requested Bryce, and Clay started walking away with a frown but this time you pulled his hand and said “No Bryce Clay is not going anywhere. He is my boyfriend whatever you wanna say, you can say in front of him” Clay’s eyes gleamed hearing those words.

Clay stood by your side holding your hand “Y/N I was just saying that I am sorry. For everything.”

“Okay.” You replied.

“Okay? You are not gonna forgive me?” he asked.

“Well, you asked me to hear you out, so I did. I gave you a second chance Bryce, but I cannot forgive you, not just yet. I would like you to live with that guilt, if any.”

Bryce took a step towards you, but he was blocked by Clay in the way. Clay stood between the two of you facing Bryce and his hand stopped Bryce from moving further. Half of your body hid behind Clay.

“You heard her, now just leave her alone.” You never saw Clay so protective, and you loved the way he demanded Bryce leave.

You both went back to where the whole gang was and got to know that they soon are going to announce the Prom King and Queen.

“Who’d, you think it’s gonna be?” you asked Jessica with curiosity.

“Who knows? It is always up to the football team” she said pointing toward Zach and the other guys on the football team.

They called Jessica to announce the Prom King and Queen as she was the class president. Jessica walked right into the middle of the room and took the envelope where the names were mentioned.

She read and every soul in the room was looking at her with suspicion, she built up the suspense and finally said “I can never be happier to announce these two names as Prom King and Queen. Are you all ready to know?”

“Yes!” Everybody yelled in excitement.

“Y/N and Clay what the hell are you doing there? Come here because the Prom Queen is Y/N Y/L/N, and the Prom King is Clay Jensen. Come and collect your tiaras.”

Clay and you saw each other in disbelief as the unexpected had happened. You thought that Charlie and Alex were going to be prom kings but here you were receiving the title of Prom Queen. Jessica put the crown over Clay’s head, and you bowed to let Jessica put the tiara. When Jessica did her part, you looked at the audience and made eye contact with Zach as he raised his glass to you both. “Thank you” you mouthed to him.

“This one’s for two of the most important people in my life” announced Tony while playing ‘Perfect’ by Ed Sheeran.

He knew how much you loved the song, and he played the song at the right moment.

“May I have this dance?” Clay’s question caught your attention and your eyes started shining.

Clay offered his hand, and you instantly took his hand. Clay kissed the back of your hand like a gentleman. You bowed and then held each other in a dancing position.

Clay’s hand slid down to your waist holding you close, and your hands rested on his shoulders. Gazing into each other’s eyes you both started dancing while your legs moved in perfect sync you teased Clay “Who knew this nerd could dance?”

“Well as you say, I am full of surprises.”

You felt ecstatic and calm dancing with Clay like you had nothing to worry about. The lyrics ‘I found a girl, beautiful and sweet. Oh, I never knew you were the someone waiting for me…’ echoed in the background.

You looked at Clay and said, “Clay Jensen, I think I am in love with you.”

“Did you just use both my names in a single sentence?” he teased.

“Come on Clay, you’re ruining the moment.”

Clay chuckled and replied, “Sorry, I know I am in love with you Y/N Y/L/N.”

“And I am in love with you Clay Jensen.”

 ‘I don’t deserve this…’

‘You look perfect tonight…’

Clay swirled you around and your body collided as he held you tight like he was never letting you go.

“Kiss, Kiss, Kiss” the crowd started shouting in unison.

You looked at Clay and said, “Seems like it’s time for some PDA Jensen.”

Clay smiled and crashed his lips onto yours, the kiss was desperate yet gentle. After you both had your moment, the crowd joined the dance floor, and you danced in Clay’s arms for the rest of the night.

---

Clay abided by your father’s rule of getting you back to your place by eleven. As you both were not party people at all you decided to ditch the after-party. You both sat down on the couch in your bedroom and helped yourself to some hot chocolate.

The first thing you did after reaching your home was to get out of that dress and realize how good it feels to finally be able to breathe again. You lay your head on Clay’s chest and he put his arm around you as you both sipped your hot chocolate.

“Clay?” you called him out.

“Yeah?”

“I got a mail today, I got into Princeton.”

Clay removed his hand from your shoulder and sat up straight.

“Wow, that’s… great. But you are not going right?” asked Clay in apprehension.

“Clay… Princeton has been my dream college since I was a little kid. Of course, I want to go.”

“You’ll go all the way across the country? What about…us? We all know long distance never works” said Clay standing up.

You tried to convince him “Clay come on, it’s my college we are talking about.”

“So, all that ‘I love you shit was fake huh? You were playing with me this whole time, right?!” He sounded furious.

He started walking out of the room in a rage, but you tried to stop him “Clay please stay. Talk to me.”

Clay shed a tear and whimpered “I am too tired to fight right now Y/N. I should probably leave.”

He left and slammed your bedroom door. Tears started running down your eyes. You were asking questions yourself; did you just ruin a perfect relationship? Did you just hurt the most wonderful boy you have ever met? The hurt caused was not intentional, but you still felt guilty, you ruined your perfect night with the boy you love. Maybe Clay was right, maybe you were graduating single from high school.

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[cookybananas]

Do I Know You? Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker x Reader {Part. II}

author's note: here is part two aka the final chapter to my alternate universe/timeline!au fic. I wasn't expecting to release this chapter so late, but here it is!

summary: Where Darth Vader is sent on a mission and finds himself traveling through another timeline and meets another version of you were you aren't dead. part I: Do I Know You? I

Obi-Wan took his saber off his belt and held it firmly in his grasp now. "Let's try this one more time. You will leave at once and return to where you once came." Obi-Wan stated.

Vader's demeanor shifted. The dark side influencing him to become more angry by the moment. He grew impatient at this, other Obi-Wan, standing in his way between his wife once again. With a hiss of his helmet, Vader's helmet was back on his head again. His vision now giving him the advantage to see in the dark penthouse.

"You will not take her away from me, again." Darth Vader's mechanical voice boomed as he lit his red lightsaber. "You will surrender her over to me alas."

"Oh I don't think so." Obi-Wan lit up his blue lightsaber as he got into his fighting position.

-

I stirred around in my bed. Something felt off, I could feel it in my stomach. My eyes shot opened at the faint sound of what sounded like lightsaber clashing.

Artoo had awaken from his rest state and beeped quietly at me, telling me that there was something or someone was here.

I stuck my hand under my pillow to pull out my handy blaster. I haven't needed to use it yet, but it was a precaution in situations like this. I got out the bed and cracked the door open ajar.

"Someone's here Artoo." I whispered to him, to which he quietly beeped in response.

I opened the door wider, only to see Obi-Wan's blue lightsaber clashing with a red lightsaber.

"There is no need to resist me." A deep, mechanical voice spoke. "Search your feelings Obi-Wan, only then you will know that I was once your appreintience, Anakin Skywalker."

I raise up my blaster, trying to find the person Obi-Wan was fighting, but it didn't help that it was dark and I couldn't tell who was who and what I would be aiming at specifically.

After moments of locking on the person Obi-Wan was fighting, I took a shot at what looked like his torso. A booming mechanical cry was heard, but that wasn't enough to take him down. In fact, it made him angrier. He used the force and threw Obi-Wan across the room and into the wall.

"Don't move! I'll shoot you again." I spoke up, my breath shaking. My other hand searching to find the light switch on the wall next to me. I turned on the lights only to be met face to face with the tall masked figure that was couple of feet from me. I pointed the blaster at his head, my hands shaking.

His breathing was mechanical. He sounded like a droid, but seemed human at the same time.

"Angel..." The tall figure said. My eyes widen, my blood ran cold as I froze in place. A nickname I haven't been called over year, a name I haven't been called since...Since Anakin's death. I gripped my blaster tighter, only for him to use the force and pull it out of my grasp and fling it across the room. I looked over to where Obi-Wan was on the ground unconscious.

-

Artoo rolled into the living space with a scream, attacking Vader's leg, only for him to be forced kicked across the room by Vader. This gave you time to run over to your blaster where Vader had flung it, but you couldn't move. That bastard was holding you in place with the force.

"Do not be afraid. I will not harm you." Vader spoke up, pulling you closer to him with the force. You were trying to wiggle out of his grasp, but it was no use.

"You will not harm me? Then release me this instant!" You exclaimed, still wiggling around the air, as he pulled you closer to him. You felt your feet touch the ground as he released his grasp from you. You were now standing face to face with Vader. "What is it that you want from me?" You brush out your silk nightgown as he stared at you in awe. You were slowly becoming uncomfortable under his gaze, but you wouldn't let yourself fold.

"Hello? Did you not hear me?" You asked again as you crossed your arms, your patience growing thinner.

"Apologies...I just." Vader mustered out, unable to find the words.

"You just what?"

You couldn't tell, but Vader was panicking under his suit. He didn't think this through, or what he would say to you if he faced you. You were very much alive, at least since the last time he saw you. Your e/c gleamed under the living room lights. Your locks of h/c hair were longer now, cascading down to your hips. Your lips were plump and rosy, just taunting Vader to smash his lips against yours.

Without thinking, Vader's hands had found his way up helmet once again. Hoping that this time you would give him a chance, unlike Obi-Wan who was a bit apprehensive and combative toward him. You watched in bewilderment as the person who was after you revealed himself as a humanoid man? But your shock didn't end there. Your eyes scanned all over Vader's face, analyzing it. You didn't know what to expect what this man would look like, but you weren't expecting him to look like this.

Vader's eyes were no longer yellow, but were his original cerulean colored eyes. You took a step closer to him as you cupped his face, your eyes meeting his. You couldn't believe it, you didn't want to believe it. His eyes were just like Anakin's, if not the exact same. Though Vader was now hairless and heavily scarred, he still resembled Anakin. In fact, there were still remnants of Anakin within Vader that he believed he had rid of years ago.

"I-it can't be..." You whispered out. It had been over a year since Anakin's death. There have been many nights where you dreamed of the life that both you and Anakin could have had after the war. How you would have left your position as senator, Anakin leaving the Jedi, just so you both could have a family somewhere in the star system. But every morning as you woke, it was a constant reminder that it was only a dream, and that every waking hour you were awake, it was a nightmare for you.

"Angel.." Anakin said softly, cupping your cheek. Your eyes were glossy now, tears slowly forming in the corner of your eyes.

You had dreams and hopes, hopes that one day both you and Anakin would find each other again. You couldn't care if Anakin had been reincarnated into a Wookie or some hideous creature, but as long as there were remnants of Anakin, you would be happy and content. Perhaps it had been the lament you had over the loss of Anakin or the loneliness you've endured the past year, you did everything and anything in your power to be with him once again.

Now, here he was, standing in front of you. Though he didn't look like the same Anakin you once knew and loved, but you had gut feeling that he was like Anakin at least.

"Ani...Is it really you?" You were desperate, desperately hoping that this was the Maker giving you another chance to have your happy ending with Anakin.

Anakin nodded in response as you wiped away a tear that fell from his eyes. You let out a sob has you threw yourself into his strong arms, to which he engulfed your small frame. He held onto you tightly, afraid that you would slip away from him.

You pulled away from Anakin, your eyes meeting his once again. Smiling up at him, you stood on your tippy toes, inching closer to his face as you closed the gap between yourselves. Your lips were soft against Anakin's slightly chapped lips. The kiss soon turned passionate as Anakin's pressed you harder against him, his hands roaming up and down your body, desperate to touch every single inch of you.

You let out a small moan, however your passionate session came to an end when you heard someone clearing their throat. Both you and Anakin pulled away, turning your heads at Obi-Wan who shifted uncomfortably in his spot, clutching his elbow that had been injured.

"How long was I out for?" Obi-Wan spoke up, trying to shift the awkward mood between the three of you.

"A good 15 minutes I'd say?" You responded, your cheeks now tinted pink as you looked up at Anakin, before looking back at Obi-Wan.

"Well, I'm gonna go get some rest. If you need me, I will be in my chambers." With that, Obi-Wan swiftly made his way out of the living area and into his room. You couldn't help but giggle, as Anakin let out a chuckle. Obi-Wan definitely had been watching the both of you make out for a good minute or so before intervening.

Anakin let out a hiss, forgetting the fact that you had shot him earlier with your blaster. You looked at him with concern.

"Oh darling... Let's get you patched up." You tell Anakin, your hand gently brushing against the wound. To which Anakin sucked in a breath.

"Could you patch me up in your bedroom love?" Anakin spoke up. You rolled your eyes at his comment, before hooking your arm around his and leading him to your quarters.

thank you for reading!!! <3

-

tags: @mistress-amidala

[sockiess]

I finished all the requests in my inbox so please request more!! 🫶

[bloatedandalone04]

Love Language

➪the one where you’re all clay needs to keep himself calm before surgery (and after).

Warnings: sam does not exist here (sorry not sorry f that b), mentions of surgery, surgery topics, hospital themes, anxiety, clay's surgery is successful and his mother is still alive, heart transplants (you saw the movie, you know how it goes), heavy topics, 'what is the healing process of a heart transplant' was definitely googled more than once while writing this.

Word Count: 2.3k

Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine <3

The sun peered into the room through the thin, white curtains - the same ones Clay has begged you to let him replace more than once now. It heated the room to the perfect temperature, not too cold while also not making you break out into a sweat. 

Lying fast asleep beside you was possibly the most beautiful man you had ever seen. His face was pressed to the pillow, his arms lifted and hidden under said pillow as he often fell asleep on his stomach, the front of his body pressed to the mattress. 

You reach over and gently trace your index finger over the various freckles that scattered his back before laying your palm flat against his skin, the faint beat of his heart bringing you a sense of comfort you never knew you needed. 

The glow of the sun made his skin look golden, his face relaxed and his hair messy from moving in his sleep. 

In other words, he was just perfect. 

You lift your body, your elbow digging into the bed as you hold yourself up. Unable to stop your wandering lips, you lean over and press a kiss to his bicep, and another to his shoulder blade.

Though your touch was feather light, it still woke him up as though his body couldn’t help but react whenever you showed him any type of affection. His eyes opened in a squint due to the light that invaded the room, the corner of his lips turning upwards in a boyish grin. “Hi,”

“Hi,” you murmur back, trailing your hand further up his back before tangling it in his light hair. 

He gives you a look that has your heart swelling before he lifts his head just to bury his face back in the pillow. You grin at his shyness, a personality trait you would’ve never imagined he had. With billions behind his name, a successful mother, a future set in stone, and a whole city that belonged to him; you expected him to be arrogant, spoiled, ruthless, even.  

But no, he was none of those things. 

He was kind, had the persona of an angel, something that prompted you to give him the nickname, your angel. He had a smile that could make any okay day an amazing one, the charm to sweep anyone off their feet, and a heart as big and sweet as anything in the entire world. Even though his heart was fragile and could betray him at any given moment, he still didn’t let that change his view on the world, the beautiful thing it was. 

To put it simply; Clay Beresford was the embodiment of everything good in the world, a light so bright that he had no idea just how much he lit up the darkest corners of damn near everyone he’s ever met, a man so perfect you found yourself believing you were stuck in a dream every time you woke up next to him. 

Massaging your fingers into his scalp, you fill with a sense of happiness at the content sigh that escapes him, silent in sound but evident in the way his shoulders raised and dropped slowly. 

You move closer to him, brushing your nose against his arm. “Why are you hiding from me?” You ask quietly, your hand flattening out his messy hair. 

He lifted his head just enough for him to be able to murmur, “I’m not hiding from you, baby,” the corners of his lips turned upwards as he continued, “Just from your awful excuse of a curtain.”

You gasp, taking your hand away from his head to give his shoulder a gentle push. “Hate them all you want,” you shrug, meeting his eyes when he turned his head to look at you. “I’m still not letting you buy me new ones.”

Clay laughed quietly, shifting so he was now on his back. His right hand came up to grab your left one, his eyes fixated on the large diamond that found home on your finger. 

With your free hand, you reach over and gently press it against his shoulder, your fingers firmly poking against the few small knots you felt. “What are you thinking about?” You nearly whisper, afraid as though you would ruin the peaceful atmosphere if you were to talk at your usual pitch. 

His blue eyes met yours once again. “You,” he simply answered and you felt a heat rush to your face. Keeping your hand locked in his, you lean down and press your lips to his mouth, an innocent kiss that grew heated when his left hand grabbed your hip and pulled your body on top of his. 

Your upper body was covered by his white dress shirt he wore to the dinner party last night, the shirt being the first thing you grabbed once you woke up this morning, while your lower half was covered by a thin black lace.

Clay has told you many times now that he loves the way you look in his clothes and it brings out a possessive side he never knew he had. You were just so beautiful, and you looked past his family drama and his heart problem and chose him. 

There weren’t words that are strong enough to describe his love for you or how much he adored you. You were one of the few things in his life that felt normal and right, and it was no surprise that he couldn’t hold back on asking you to be his forever just eight months into the relationship. 

You started out as his mom’s assistant. Lilith was a sweetheart right at the start, showing you around her massive house with the patience of a new teacher, smiling at you and encouraging any questions you might have had. 

You remembered exiting the kitchen and entering the front hall just as Clay returned home, his eyes tired and his form slouched. It was almost comical how quickly he straightened up and how wide his eyes opened. Lilith’s dismissal of his sudden appearance was one you’ll never forget. “Oh, that’s Clay, my son. Don’t worry, you won’t see much of him,”

How wrong she was.

From that day on, Clay did any and everything he could to see you, even for just a split second. He’d prolong quick conversations, give you a long answer instead of a short one to any question you had, and was always there to greet you when you arrived in the mornings. 

You were kidding yourself when you made a promise that you wouldn’t fall for him. You fell for Clay hard and fast, and it seemed as though he fell for you just as bad. When you became official, you quit being Lilith’s assistant as you felt weird about it and didn’t want your source of income to be from his mom.

No matter how much money the Beresford name had, you still felt cheap whenever Clay or his mother offered to pay for something. You knew it wouldn’t faze them, and you appreciate their kindness, but you refused each and every time. 

“You do realize that you’re entitled to my money once we’re married, right?” He’d ask you every time you refused to let him pay for you.

You always respond with, “Yeah, well, we’ll figure that out when we get there,”

His hands slide up your back when you break away from his mouth and begin placing kisses along his jaw. You move onto his neck and shoulders before moving further down and stopping right above where his heart was beating in his chest. 

A small bit of sadness filled you as your mouth hovered over that place, your hands pressing into the sheets on either side of his body. Clay noticed this, but before he could ask you what was wrong, you leaned down and placed a kiss to the skin of his chest, just over where his heart is. 

He held back a shiver as you placed another kiss and then another, your eyes closing when you felt his hands reach up to caress the sides of your face. Butterflies are set loose all over his body as you kiss him with a feather light touch, acting as if you’d break him if you were to be even the smallest bit rougher with him. 

“Hey,” he quietly said, his thumbs gently wiping away the tears that fell from your eyes. “What’s wrong?”

Shaking your head, you rest it against his chest, the faint beating against your cheek making you smile slightly. “I just love you,” it was hardly audible, but he heard you as clear as day. “So much.”

“Baby,” he says quietly, brushing your hair away from your face as he tries to get you to meet his eye. “Now it’s your turn to tell me what you’re thinking about.”

You wipe away your tears and clear your throat. “It’s nothing,” you answer, looking up at him and caving at the look he gives you. A shaky sigh leaves your lips as you crawl over his body and move to lay on your side next to him. Your fingers trace over the skin you had just kissed while his rubbed soothing circles onto your shoulder. “I was just thinking about how much I will love your new heart, maybe even more than I love your current one.”

Clay grinned down at you before pressing a kiss to your forehead. “There’s no doubt in my mind that my new heart will love you just as much as the old one does now,” he says quietly before adding, “Thank you for never giving up on me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

-

Clay spent a week in the hospital, his pager going off a few hours after you and him got out of bed after your heart to heart talk. 

His surgery was a success, his body taking the new organ with no problems at all and rendering him a new man.

You were by his side throughout the whole process, your own heart beating rapidly during the five hours he was under. The sense of relief you felt when his doctor came to the waiting room to inform you and Lilith that it was a success was indescribable. 

He woke up an hour or so after the surgery, and a couple more later you were finally allowed to briefly visit him. You instantly started crying, which caused him to cry as well, still a bit drowsy and high off the medication. 

Despite the doctor’s request of not getting too close to him, you couldn’t help but press multiple kisses to his face, working carefully around the ventilator, before settling on holding his hand as gently as you could. He looked so tired and weak and worn out, making your heart break the smallest bit as you thought about the long road to recovery he had ahead of him. 

Now, four weeks into his recovery process, he was doing well. He would have multiple pain sessions everyday where his chest would ache beyond anything he could ever describe. During those moments he would tightly hold your hand or wrap his arms around your middle while pressing his body to yours until the pain subsided and the quiet groans faded. 

You grew closer than ever. You had taken an LOA from your job at the small café downtown to take care of him, looking after his every need with no hesitation. He was in bed for the most part, only getting up to walk the short distance to the bathroom attached to the bedroom or up and down the hallway outside the room to keep him somewhat active. Even then you were no more than a few feet away from him, a nervous look on your face and a crease in your brow

Secretly, the days you spent with him in bed was your favorite way to pass the time. Like right now, your chin resting gently on his shoulder while your index finger lightly ran up and down the scar on his chest. The bandage and stitches had long since been removed and all that was left was a long line from the start of his chest down to just above his lower abdomen. 

Today was a good day as he hadn’t felt a single ounce of pain yet, his arm wrapped around you and his fingers lazily tracing shapes on your bicep. His half lidded eyes stared at the ceiling, the only sounds filling the room being your breathing and the low hum of the air conditioning. 

Breaking the silence, you keep your voice quiet as you ask, “How are you feeling today?”

Your head lifted slightly with every breath he took, his shoulder rising with every inhale. Just being able to feel him breathe made you fill with a sense of happiness, the stress of the whole thing fading away with every day that passed. “Good,” he answered, his lips turning upwards when he added, “Better than ever.”

You close your eyes at that, exhaling quietly. “Good,” your hand moves from his scar and rests on the skin above his heart, the faint but strong beat making you smile. “You’re still you.” You say quietly and lift yourself up, propping your upper half on your elbow.

Clay furrows his brows as he watches you lean down to press your lips over his heart. He was brought back to the morning of his surgery, just hours before he got the page that a transplant was available, where you did exactly what you were doing now, but on his old and weak heart. 

“My angel….New heart, new life,” you continued, kissing his skin once more before meeting his eyes. “Still the same you.”

Clay lifted his hand to stroke your cheekbone with his thumb, the rest of his fingers curling under your jaw. “I’m still me,” he confirmed, matching your small grin with one of his own. “And my heart still loves you just the same.”

[vinziel]

Hug Time? Male Reader x John Dory

A/N: First time writing angst. Yay.

Throughout the saving Floyd mission, you've noticed John Dory always tried to hug his siblings and you, but neither you nor his brothers hugged him. It seems you and his brothers are still uncomfortable. After a few months have passed since that day and you've grown accustomed to being touchy with John Dory but his brothers still need a bit of time, which was understandable, yet John Dory felt...distanced from his brothers, no matter how hard or how much he tried they never seem to get around and be comfortable with him. He thinks that maybe he'll never convince them but you always assure him that he can and it'll take time. John Dory felt assured but the feeling still lingered inside of him. One day, you were going out to buy some groceries, Bruce also came to visit at this time, John Dory, Poppy, Branch, Viva and the rest of the Brozone brothers were all talking inside the bunker, talking about anything really. Then the hug time bracelets went off and everyone started to hug each other, except for John Dory, whenever he would try to hug one of his brothers someone hugged them first, and he didn't want to just hug them still since he knew that they may not be so comfortable still. Now everyone has hugged someone.

John Dory was on the verge of a mental breakdown, he felt like crying, he was slightly trembling, thinking to himself "No John Dory, don't do it. Don't ruin the mood" He stands up and leaves without anyone noticing, he then goes to his shared room with you, locks the door and just quietly cries in bed. He had you and he was grateful but he still wanted at least one of his brothers to hug him or show the same affection he was giving them. He knew that he brought this upon himself but, it still hurts, to know your brothers still don't feel comfortable enough with you. Time passes by and Poppy notices John Dory is gone, and she gets a little concerned "Wait, did anyone hug John Dory?" She says. The brothers and Viva look at each other and shrug. All of them then went to your bedroom with John Dory room knocking on his door to no response.

You finally got back home with groceries, putting them on the table, you see a small commotion outside your room. "What's going on?" You ask, concerned and curious. "Well we're not sure. I think no one hugged John Dory during hug time, and we're trying to let him let us inside his room to maybe help him feel better" Poppy says before continuing "But he's not opening the door" You sigh, a frown on your face, visibly worried about how John Dory's feeling "Let me handle this" You say knocking on the door saying "John? Can you let me in? It's me, Y/N" The door then opens and you enter it, and close it, while the rest of the group goes back to the living room.

It was now just you and John Dory. He guys you, still quietly sobbing, as you take him to bed, sitting beside him "How are you feeling?" You ask, your voice is soft, stroking his hair, as you take off his goggles that cover his tear filled eyes, John Dory then just let's it all out on you, as you comfort him "It's fine, just let it all out" after a while of crying John Dory stops, it's been a while since he's ever actually cried so this was new, John Dory felt good letting it all out, as you both continue to hug "I just feel that maybe they still don't love me like a big brother. Maybe they'll never love me like a big brother, maybe I'll never get them to be comfortable with me. I-I" You sush him "Nonesense" John Dory then removes your hand and says "No! It's not nonesense! They still can't bring themselves to hug me, and every time it's just me and one of my brothers alone it's always awkward!" He yells, the walls were thankfully thick enough to make it soundproof which you're glad "I don't know what I can do to make them like me anymore. It seems no matter how hard I try, they still have resentment over me, no matter how hard they try to hide it, and maybe I deserve it. I-I just wish I can get them to at least not be awkward with me anymore, to be comfortable with me" He continues, his voice is breaking, he isn't yelling anymore, tears rolling down his cheek, he stopped hugging you, as he just puts his hands on the bed.

You always saw John Dory as being a bit too confident but now, it seems like this whole new side of him is new to you, he was being vulnerable with you, and he was letting himself cry, he's letting himself be all sad around you. You have a frown on your face, concerned for John Dory's mental health, you sigh and say "Look....sure it's true, you may have deserved this kind of treatment from your brothers but I assure you they still love you. It just takes time to get used to being around the person who was the reason you ran away from home, the person trying to force them to be perfect, so please John, don't give up and don't think that just because they haven't gotten comfortable with you doesn't mean they won't ever will" You kiss John Dory, in hopes it'll make him feel a bit better, John Dory kisses you back, and after pulling away, he smiles and wipes his tears "You're right, maybe they'll come around some day." He says "That's the spirit! Now let's go back to the living room." You exclaim.

Once you two are back in the living room, the Brozone brothers, Poppy and Viva, all hug John Dory, he's quite shocked by this, then Bruce starts to talk "We're sorry for not hugging you John. We know we may have been a bit resentful towards you at times but we want to assure you that we do still love you" Branch continues by saying "Yeah, we've seen your efforts in trying to make us be comfortable around you and we have been too harsh on you" All the brothers, Poppy and Viva then nod in agreement of Bruce and Branch's statement, John Dory starts to cry tears of joy "I love you guys. You have no idea how much I needed to hear that." He says. You watch this unfold with a smile on your face, appreciating the heartfelt moment. The day continues on as Bruce decides to cook you all dinner, you all eat together and The brothers now seem to be more comfortable around John Dory. Sharing laughs, sharing embarrassing stories about each other during the Brozone days (Mostly from John Dory). Yes this is truly the start of a new beginning among the brothers.

[p1nkprincess444]

˚⋆ ᪥˖° ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ ᴏғ ᴜs - ᴄʟᴀʏ ʀᴏᴀᴄʜ °˖᪥⋆˚

female!reader x clay roach

word count: 2,160

contents: 18+, angst, suicide

When you first met Clay you were both in highschool, he was in grade 12 and you were in grade 10. As soon as you met each other you fell into his world. 

He would take you to parties practically every weekend letting you sit in his lap while he shared joints and drinks with you. You both were absolutely hammered and higher than kites as you stumbled back to your house with him. You giggled as you stumbled up the staircase with Clay holding onto you. You tumbled into your bed with him. You both laid on your backs taking in each other's features. You admired the way his hair fell around his face and the way his lips curled up in a smile. You noticed how the veins in his hands bulged slightly as he squeezed your hand. You smiled at the way his eyes flickered down from your lips to your breasts that were almost spilling out of your dress as you laid with him. One simple movement changed everything in a split second. His lips pressed against yours as his hand moved up to cup your cheek. His tongue slid past your lips as his hand moved to the back of your head pulling you closer as he kissed you. Before you knew it his hands were pushing up your dress so it was bunched up around your waist as he pulled down your panties. Your hands fumbled with his belt trying to unbuckle it but you couldn’t seem to manage. It made Clay smile as you struggled, making him gently push your hands away as he unbuckled his belt followed by him pushing down his jeans. Clay’s lips connected with your neck kissing and nipping at it as the leaking head of his cock pressed against your entrance. He slowly pushed inside of you until he bottomed out making you both moan in unison.  

“ Taking me so well.. Fuck you feel so good, ” he punctuated every word with a thrust of his cock. 

You could only respond with whimpers and moans as his pace began to quicken. Your fingers tangled in his long wavy brown hair as he thrusted into you with a newfound desperation. Soft praises escaped his lips as his fingers dug into your hips. Your legs locked around his hips as your cunt squeezed him impossibly tight signaling your oncoming release. You cried out Clay’s name loudly as you came around his cock and at the same time he was filling you full of his seed. 

Clay pressed a soft tender kiss to your lips before rolling off you as he looked into your eyes. “ Are you alright princess? ”

I smiled at the nickname as I brushed hair from his face. “ Mm’ okay, ” I smiled softly as he kissed me again before he tucked himself back into his boxers before moving down between my thighs. “ What are- are you doing, ” my question was answered with his mouth greedily moving to suck on my clit.

Clay responded only in a soft hum as his tongue lapped at your folds. His fingers pushed inside of you as his mouth sucked on your clit. He had your hips pinned to the bed as he fucked you with his fingers faster. Lewd noises left your mouth as you shamelessly grinded against his face while he eagerly moved his fingers faster as his tongue swirled around your clit. Clay curled his fingers hitting the perfect spot inside of you making your back arch as moans slip past your lips. He sped up his movements as he saw you coming undone. 

“ Fuck- mm’ gonna.. ” Before I could finish my sentence I was cumming around his fingers as he lapped at my folds cleaning up the mess he made.

He withdrew his fingers after a few moments, licking them clean as he crawled back up onto the bed. Clay kissed your forehead gently as he pulled off your dress followed by his clothes as he moved you under the plush duvet that covered your bed. 

This seemed to be how you spent your weekends now. You’d get wasted and high at a party and stumble home on Clay’s arm. He’d spend the night tangled in your arms and you’d wake up with him sleeping peacefully next to you. Those were your favorite moments with him in the morning. You admired the peacefully relax fullness of his features as the sun cascading through your window on his soft brown hair and face. It was all perfect until it all came crashing down in your senior year of highschool. Clay was out of highschool but was still partying as hard as ever. You had stumbled home with him to his new apartment, but this time you were reckless with him. He had you bent over the arm of his new couch as he slammed his cock into you. You hadn’t bothered to ask if he had a condom, you hadn’t even remembered to remind him. By the time you did remember he was filling you full of his cum. As you laid awake in his bed he came back from the bathroom looking higher than he ever had. You hadn’t thought to ask what he might have been on as you fell asleep in his arms that night.

A few weeks had passed since that night and you began to get sick, you wanted to push it off as the flu or even a common cold, but deep down you knew it was more than that. A week had passed and you were dropping weight like it was nothing. You were sleeping over at Clay’s and he began to notice how wretched you looked. 

“ Baby, what’s the matter, you’ve been looking worse and worse, ” Clay questioned you as he felt your forehead for the familiar warmth of a fever but he was met with the normal coolness of your skin. His brow furrowed slightly as he pulled you into his arms.

You didn’t have the heart to tell him that you might be pregnant as you laid in his arms before drifting off to sleep. The next morning like clock work you ran to the bathroom vomiting into the toilet. Your hands pushed your hair from your face as you heaved into the toilet. Clay soon followed you and kneeled next to you as his hands held back your hair. Once you had finished he pulled you into his lap stroking your hair before he got you a glass of water from the sink. He pressed it to your lips gently allowing you to rinse your mouth. He tucked you into his bed as he stroked your hair.

“ It’s just the flu, it'll be alright, you can stay here till you’re feeling better. ”

You nodded and turned over laying on your side facing away from him as anxiety filled your gut.

The next day when Clay went to work you snuck away and went to a small drugstore on the corner. You bought two pregnancy tests and walked back to Clay’s apartment as you took the first test. It came back positive with a small smiley face next to the words. You knew it had to be wrong so you took the second and the two pink lines couldn’t have been clearer screaming at you that you were pregnant. You heard the front door open making you panic as you shoved the tests in the trash can. You greeted Clay as he knocked on the door gently. He hugged you tightly before moving his hand up to your forehead feeling no abnormal temperature again. He laid with you in bed as you both soon drifted off to sleep for a short nap. You woke up alone in his bed, your heart immediately dropping. You crept out of his bed and found him on the couch with a needle in his hand and a belt pulled snug around his bicep. 

“ Clay- Clay what are you doing, ” you stood in the doorway like a child who just had a nightmare in Clay’s large sweater. 

He immediately put the drugs away trying to convince you it was anything but heroin. You laid in his bed with him as he explained how it “wasn’t that bad” he was almost convincing you to try it.

The next few months went on and your now child filled stomach was beginning to grow and so were the size of your clothes. Clay laid asleep in bed but had woken up to find you changing. Before you could pull your sweater over your bump Clay was out of bed holding your face in his hands. The next moment those three words left his lips. The words you dreaded to hear.

“ Are you pregnant? ” His face was one of concern and amazement as you gave a small nod. 

His arms engulfed you into a tight hug as you sobbed. The tears left your eyes because of your stupidity and your negligence. You didn’t know how you let yourself get pregnant in your last year of highschool by a boy your parents hated but you loved. You sunk into Clay’s arms as he whispered soothing words into your hair as he peppered your head with small kisses. 

The next few months were the hardest you could tell the reality of it all was hitting Clay head on. The arms you once loved wrapped around you were now being covered in deep brown track marks as his addiction grew worse by the days. You begged Clay to stop but he kept making empty promises. You’d wake up to him crawling back into bed high out of his mind on heroin, as he kissed you gently before slipping off into a deep drug induced sleep. 

As the months went on and you were nearing your due date you spent what seemed like less and less time with Clay as he was always slipping off to get high. You decided to go to his apartment as you knew he didn’t have work today. You knocked on his door once.. Then twice… and now a third time. All your knocks go unanswered, causing you to begin to become nervous. You knocked louder again until you remembered he gave you a key when he moved in. You fumbled for the key that was buried in your school back. You grabbed it as your hands shook while you tried to press the key into the lock. You opened the door to find Clay on the floor with a needle sticking out of his arm and his belt pulled as tight as he could around his bicep. You dropped to the floor as fast as you could, accommodating your swollen belly as you dropped to your knees next to Clay. 

“ Please- Please wake up, ” I sobbed as I stroked Clay’s hair with shaking hands. 

You began to shake him as you sobbed against his chest. You begged him to wake up as you shook him violently. His eyes fluttered open as he looked around the room, his eyes not landing on anything specific until they met your tear filled ones. He tried to speak but no words passed his lips. You clung to him like a life line begging him to keep his eyes open but yet they began to flutter shut anyways. 

“ No.. No- No! Please Clay you’re all I have anymore, ” I sobbed as I tried to keep him awake and yet he let his eyes fall shut again. 

You laid with your head on his chest as your sobs subsided. You slept on the floor next to him waiting for him to wake up. You waited to feel him move but slowly the rise and fall of his chest subsided and the thumping of his heart stopped. You laid there with your head resting against his chest feeling his skin grow cold against yours. You didn’t know what to do as you laid there until you found yourself standing in front of the bathroom mirror with a razor blade in your hands. Your life was falling apart in a matter of hours, the only man you had ever truly loved was lying dead on the floor in the other room, meanwhile your parents had practically disowned you after you told them you were pregnant. Everything was falling apart. Before you could even think of what to do next your hand was dragging the blade down your wrist all the way to your bicep. You quickly followed this action by doing the same to the other arm. You sunk to the floor as blood seeped from your wounds covering your clothes and the bathroom floor as you clutched your swollen belly. You thought about the life you could’ve had with Clay, a little white picket fence, with your precious little baby that he would cherish. You began to lose consciousness as you clutched onto unlived dreams.

[miralunawritez]

"Was it really worth it..?"

Veneer x Fem!Reader (angst)

mentions of death

(third person pov, pronouns used are she, her for y/n and he, him for veneer)

Plot: Instead of Velvet and Veneer performing the rage dome show (Mount Rageous), it was Veneer and (Y/N). (Everything that Velvet did while performing in the movie, the reader did instead.), when the reader reached out for Floyd, Veneer couldn't catch her on time..

(song gives better angsty effect imo 😉)

It all went by so fast, one minute (Y/N) and Veneer were trying to keep Poppy, Branch, and Viva from saving brozone, and the next Veneer was watching the love of his life plummet to her death. Why couldn't he have saved her? Why wasn't he quick enough? Why couldn't it have been him and not her?

The crowd went completely silent as they watched her fall, the silence was loud, the air was tense, Veneer was numb in fear and shock. He quickly lowered the platform he was on and rushed to her side, praying she survived the fall. Time seemed to move slow as he yelled out her name, falling to his knees next to her lifeless body.

"Y/N! WAKE UP PLEASE" He practically screamed out while shaking her by her shoulders. He didnt even notice the little trolls rushing to him and (Y/N), placing their little hands on (Y/N) to check for a pulse. Nothing. Poppy and Floyd tried their best to comfort Veneer, placing their hands on his knees, slightly rubbing them and patting them. Even Crimp and Velvet rushed to the scene to try and help.

Veneer held (Y/N) as close as he could, rocking her body gently while sobbing, his fingers dug into her hair, pressing her face into his chest while his other hand gripped the back of her shirt. "Please (y/n), I cant keep going without you.." "What about the future we were supposed to have together? We were supposed to get married, have kids..maybe get a cat! Please (y/n) wake up!" He said, hoping it was all just a cruel prank and she would wake up.

As 20 long minutes passed and you didn't wake up, Veneer went completely cold, dizzy, and nauseous. He couldn't believe it, eventually medical services and cops jumped into action, offically announcing (Y/N) as dead. Veneer decided to slowly put her back down before standing up.

"Listen up mount rageons..I am a fraud! And I have been torturing little trolls, and I even brought my girlfriend into it..I knew the consequences of my actions were gonna be severe but I didnt know it was gonna cause me to lose the love of my life.." Veneer yelled out to the crowd "I just wanted to be famous..both me and my sister wanted to be famous.."

"I shouldn't have brought (y/n) into this" He says, turning to look at his dead girlfriend, "I am so so sorry my love.." He whispers before being placed into handcuffs along with Velvet.

As him and Velvet were walked off from the scene, he thought to himself, "Was it really worth it..?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

IM SORRY IF ITS OOC BUT I WANTED TO WRITE IT SO BAD

[cerismo]

MASTERLIST ☾

fluff ᡣ𐭩 angst ☾ smut ୨ৎ etc. ✮

RAFE CAMERON/DREW STARKEY

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P1. P2.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ✮

P1 P2 P3 P4 P5 P6 P7 P8

CHRIS STURNIOLO

L’AMOUR DE MA VIE ☾

COMING SOON…

sum random…

sum random…

cerismo 2024 © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

[kingdomhate]

Happiness and Tears (Part Four)

Jack looks from Penny to Puttnam, his expression pleading. "Listen, I'm not going through with this. Clay is my friend!" Penny rolls her eyes and Puttnam looks away. "I'm not doing this.." Penny looks away and then snaps her head back. "Look, you would still be sent to jail either way. It was your idea." Penny argues, her eyes on fire.

Clay's eyes, the only part of his body he can move due to the anesthesia, flicker frantically back and forth. "What the.... how can this happen?! What about Y\N?! We're gonna get married!" Clay screams, but it's all in his head. His jaw is completely paralyzed. Clay could feel the tears pricking in his eyes, the thought of dying, like this... You'd never know. How can people you've known for a good while be so heartless? The feeling of nausea stopping Clay from attempting to fight the paralision.

"Penny, he's not even awake!" Jack practically screams, his eyes desperate but determined. "How could you actually carry this out if he's not awake? He doesn't know!" As Clay listens, he can feel himself moving, his hands coming to his face, ripping off the tape on his eyes, removing the IV's and sitting up. All while Jack, Puttnam and Penny argue.

Clay stands up, his eyes red and puffy as the tears settle and reduce, replaced by pure rage. He looks down at the surgery table, to see himself, eyes open and wide, but body paralyzed on the table, chest open. Clay abandons the sight to circle around a pleading Jack, "How could you have come up with this idea?!" Clay demands, but he knows Jack cannot hear him. With a heavy and remorseful sigh, Clay sulks out of the room, his feet hitting the cold, hospital tile floor with a sense of hopelessness. But the hopelessness is not why he's walking down this hallway for, no, it's you.

Clay makes his way to the waiting sections, and he sees you as well as his mother, you both were sitting next to each other, your bag clutched tightly in your hands, so much so your knuckles were white. His mother was in no better condition; her face was red and puffy, her lipstick slightly smeared, no doubt due to how many times she's wiped her forehead in pure agony. Clay approaches you, his heart filled with nothing but love and helplessness. He slowly places his hand on your cheek, trying his best to manage a soothing caress, but he could see his hand shaking as it made contact with your angelic skin. "I'm sorry." He whispers, bending down in front of you, taking your hand in his. "I'm sorry we couldn't live the life we wanted, the life you deserved." He squeezed your hand, the tear in his eye falling to the floor.

"I'm so sorry, Y\N..." Clay looks at you, his eyes as remorseful as he reminisced his visions of everytime he ever saw you. His eyes frantically snapping shut as he leaned back, sitting on the tile in front of you, his knees up to his chest as his hands tangle in his hair. Sobbing, he mutters sorry over and over. His head jerks up, his eyes stopping at his mother as he tries to imagine what his mother would say. What would she say? "Remember, Clayton, you are nothing like your father." No, that's not what he needs.. "Clayton, where do you think you would be if you did not have to suffer some kind of pain?"

Was that it? Clayton stood up, spun around and practically ran back to the operating room. ".....Inject it." Penny's voice commanded. Clayton threw the door open and walked back to see himself on the operating table, again. Jack took the heart, a syringe handed to him by Puttnam and hesitated shortly before injected it. Clay's anger was fueled yet again.

Your POV

You have been waiting for what seemed like forever, before you see Jack approach you, and you jump up, meeting him halfway."Is he alright? Is he safe? Please tell me he's okay, please.." Jack's face was solemn, despite your best attempts at pleading. Lilith did not get up, but she watched closely. "I'm sorry, Y\N. I really am." Your world crashed. Everything became distorted as Jack went to put a reassuring hand on your shoulder. You sunk to your knees, hand in your hair. Lilith rose to her feet, striding over to the both of you. "Listen here. You get back in there and save my son." She commands, voice a deadly low. "I'm sorry, ma'am. We can't. It was a bad heart." Lilith's teeth clench. "I said, go save my son." She says, her voice as firm and stern as ever. Jack just stands there for a moment, before trying again, but Lilith turns to you. "Come here." She commands and you get to your feet and follow her. "Get me one of Clay's pill bottles." She says, extending her arm.

"What? M-Miss Beresford, I c-" Stopped short by Lilith's intense gaze as she turned her eyes to yours. "Now." She growls. Your hands shake before reaching down into your bag and grabbing a random pill bottle, handing it entirely to her. She takes it, looks at you once more before going to the cafeteria area. "One coffee." She places the right amount of money on the counter and goes to a table, sitting down and resting her head against the pure white concrete pillar conveniently placed next to her.

Jack doesn't bother staying for any longer, sensing that you need time to yourself and heads back to the operating table. He was ashamed of himself. More than he'd ever been. He killed a man. An innocent one. One he had befriending, one who was scheduled to be married. Just starting his life, getting ready. A tear prickles at the sight of Clay, eyes lifeless under the tape, and chest opened, the heart he poisoned not beating. How could he have done this? For the debt, to repay it. Penny smiles at him, Puttnam going outside to find Dr. Lupin, still on the phone somewhere near the waiting area.

"You did good. No one will know." Penny promises him, the smile vibrant on her twisted face. Jack knows, and the words stab his heart like he stabbed the syringe into the perfectly healthy heart that was supposed to help Clay. Lilith was handed her coffee, and she looked at the pill bottle in her hands, before opening it, and popping one. Then two. Three. Four. The whole bottle. Then drinking the coffee. It was all only a matter of time. In minutes, Clay was looming over his lifeless body again, shaking his head.

He began walking home, leaving the hospital, and once he did, everything came back to him. The epiphany of knowing he died because a group of doctors he trusted planned all along to kill him. He opened the door to his house, and began ascending the stairs, curling up on his bed, his hands folded below between head and pillow.

As his eyes slowly closed and sleep consumed him, he heard a familiar voice. "Hey, Clay." His mother said, and Clay's eyes opened immediately. "What are you doing here?" He looked at his mother's figure in the bedside chair, a soft smile on her face. "You need to come back." Clay scoffed lightly. "How? In case you haven't noticed, I'm dead, Ma." Lilith looks at him seriously. "And what about Y\N? Are you just going to leave her all alone?" Clay frowns. "How, Mom? How can I go back to her if my heart is poisoned?" Lilith smiles, leaning forward in her chair. "I'm here. You go back. Use my heart." Clay stops, his eyes gazing into hers intently. "Mom...."

You sit down and then see the doctors rush out, and they stop at you. "Where's Lilith?" They question at once and then stop as they see Dr, Neyer, Lilith's surgeon boyfriend, walks out with Lilith's dead body. "What happened?!" Penny questions but Dr. Neyer pushes passed and starts for the Operating Room, pulling up another table, placing Lilith on it and getting ready in his doctor attire, squeezing on his gloves and mask, he uses a scalpel to open Lilith's chest. "And what do you think you're doing?" Puttnam says, wanting to step in. Penny stops him and glares at Jack, before they both began to make a break for it. Jack stays for a few more seconds and then heads to his office.

Dr. Neyer transfers Lilith's heart into Clay and the poisoned one into Lilith. Dr. Lupin comes back inside. "What'd I- Oh, hello!" He says with a bit of a chuckle, oblivious to the situation. "Get over here." Dr. Neyer instructs and Dr. Lupin complies, grabbing a fresh pair of gloves and putting them on. "Ready the electric shock." Dr. Neyer instructs, and once more, Lupin complies. Dr. Neyer diligently works on rewiring the heart into the empty spot of Clay's chest. A minute or so later, he notices the heart isn't beating, he instructs Lupin to initiate the electric shock and it doesn't work. "Again." Neyer commands and the electric shock is initiated again, and again and over again, boosted up and then seemingly not working. "I'm sorry, sir... he's gone." Lupin says solemnly. But Neyer demands the electric shock again.

The police are called to the scene, as you call them, under the suspicion something was not right. Especially after seeing Dr. Carver and Dr. Puttnam bolting down the staircase together. The police arrive and search, to your surprise, the two doctors are caught and arrested, apparently after a police offer separately talked to Jack, who spilled everything. Hearing the news stopped your heart, and you couldn't believe ANY of it. But there it was, as clear as day, the evidence and confession.

Minutes after the police arrest Penny, Puttnam and Jack, Dr. Neyer emerges, a happy but tired smile on his face. "We did it." He announces to you, and you tilt your head before realizing; Lilith asked for those pills so she could could save Clay. Tears ran hot down your cheeks as you hugged the surgeon. It was over. An hour later, you were allowed to see Clay.

"Hey, gorgeous." He smiles and you sniffle, wrapping a gentle arm around him, kissing him feverishly. "What's wrong?" He asks, but you decide not to tell him. Not now. "I love you." You tell him, kissing him once more and intertwining your hands together on the recovery bed. "So much." He smiles at you, squeezing your hand. "I love you more."

*2 1\3 hours after initially being pronounced dead by doctors Harper, Carver and Puttnam, Clay would survive his heart transplant.*

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This took an hour and a half!

Tags:

@darthgloris

@sweetcheesecakesblog

@haydenpookiebear

[glitterp0prhaps0dy]

update on heartbreak au

i really want to post the heartbreak au and get it out to the world, iv already planned so much for it, but I don't have nearly enough time to draw all the comic panels for each scene, would you guys be fine if I made it more of a fanfiction that had a picture every now and then?

[misschanadlerbong]

Chapter 9 - Vous ne Cesserez Jamais de me Surprendre

A/N: If you guys know French then ofc you would know what the title means and if you don't then read to find out :)) (moreover, this is my first attempt to write something close to smut so please be generous ^^)

Warnings: smut-ish

Pairing: Clay Jensen x Reader

Genre: Lime Smut, nothing explicit

Word Count: 1.7k

<;Previous | Next>

Clay on hearing the door creak immediately turned his attention towards your ears breaking the kiss and said, “So you got your ear pierced recently?”

You were so confused but understood what Clay was trying to do.

“Yeah, how are they?”

“Pretty,” Clay answered.

Both of you turned your attention to the door and saw Clay’s mom standing in suspicion. But she let it go and informed Clay that she and Clay’s dad would be heading outside for their dinner date.

“Honey, do you need me to make you anything for dinner,” she asked.

“No, mom don’t worry. She brought some drinks along with her when she came, and we got the pizza money. Enjoy your date.”

“Aren’t you generous,” said Clay’s mom looking at you.

You smiled back and she left the room and this time she shut the door completely maybe intentionally, unintentionally, who knows?

“Smooth Jensen!”

You grabbed Clay’s t-shirt by his collar and straddled his waist and started kissing him more passionately. Clay broke the kiss and said, “Wait, I don’t see Zach anywhere nearby. Why are we kissing again?”

You gave him a cold yet innocent stare and whispered in his ears “I have been meaning to kiss you for a long time now Jensen, Zach was just an excuse.”

His eyes had a spark it felt like nothing more could make him happier. He eagerly started kissing you. Your lips traced his perfectly built jaw, and his hands gripped your waist tightly. You could feel his arousal under you. He broke from the kiss and asked running out of breath “Is... uh this okay?” You nodded and he gestured towards the bed.

He took his shirt off while you positioned yourself on the bed. He climbed onto you and asked again “Is this okay, Y/N?”

“Yeah...!” you whispered.

He pulled the hem of your shirt and looked into your eyes for consent, you nodded and let him take the shirt off.

There you were lying under Clay Jensen almost naked. As he took your t-shirt off, he gleamed as he saw you and exclaimed “You’re so beautiful Y/N.”

His calling you beautiful in his husky voice hit a different nerve. While he was glancing at your body your eyes met, and you looked at those ocean-blue eyes and wanted to sink deeper and deeper into them.

Clay was going down on you, and you held onto his arms to stop him and asked “Clay, do you um… have a condom?”

Clay panicked as he did not have any and you asked him to grab your backpack and check in the back pocket. He finally found it and climbed back onto the bed, “These days you just don’t know right? You have to be prepared for everything,” you chuckled softly to fill in the awkward silence while he was struggling to open it.

He rested each of his hands beside your waist and positioned himself over you. Asking “Is this, okay?”

You grabbed the back of his neck to pull him closer and gave him a deep kiss. “This is perfect Clay.” You reassured.

 As he thrusted in you, you let out a minor groan in pain.

“Hey, did that hurt? We can stop anytime you want to. As we can stop right now, we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“Yeah, that kinda hurt. But I don’t want you to stop. Can you uh…hold my hands, please?”

He held your hands passionately. It did hurt for the first couple of minutes but eventually, you both felt nothing but pleasure. He held your hands as if he will never let go of you, and hid his face in the crook of your neck while he thrusted in.

You found it hard to believe that you were feeling vulnerable, but you enjoyed this vulnerability because deep down you knew that Clay would never hurt you.

Clay lied beside you on the bed and you put your hand against his cheek and whispered, “Thank you, Clay.”

“Thank You!”

He seemed concerned and asked, “By the way did you finish?” He was so considerate about satisfying you. You loved it.

You smiled and replied “No Clay, I didn’t. It was my first time what do you expect? But did you?”

“Yeah, but wait this was your first time?” He asked raising his volume a little.

“Yeah, why? You seem surprised…”

“Didn’t you like to date, Zach?”

“Yes, I dated Zach. I wasn’t on a sex contract with him. Yeah, I have been to the second base but never had sex. And you probably think I am slut. Wow.” You sighed in disbelief “Okay, this makes everything much less awkward. I think I am gonna go.”

As you raised to get out of bed Clay pulled your hand and said “No, Y/N. I don’t think any of that. Trust me, I was just a little insecure, but now I realize that talking about exes in bed, is not a great idea.”

You giggled at his innocence and lied back to him.

“I am just glad that I am your first and you’re my first.”

“No way in freaking hell! Clay that was your first time?” you exclaimed.

“Uh… now why do you seem surprised”?

“Oh. My. God. Wow. I have heard that it’s not that long the first time.”

“Yeah, I’ve been practicing,” said Clay awkwardly.

“Vous ne cesserez jamais de me surprendre”

“What does that mean?” he asked.

“Well, someone’s missing his French classes, It means you never cease to amaze me, Clay.”

You ran your fingers in his dark brown locks and he said “I always wanted you, like not only for sex you know, like to be with you and hang out with you. But you were always busy looking at other guys, so I had to shut my feelings down.”

“I don’t know Clay; it has been, so easy with others. But with you, I feel vulnerable. I had all these insecurities that you will judge me, or you’ll just want to be with me because” you rolled your eyes “well, because I am hot, and you would only want from me what other guys want. I was always worried about various other things. That is why I never asked you out.”

Clay kissed the top of your head and brought you closer to hug you. Clay made you feel safe and loved at the same time. It was for the first time that you were experiencing these emotions but you felt good, sometimes it is just easier to bring your walls downs and let people in and Clay was just the person to do that for.

“Y/N I would have never judged you or anything. I always wanted to be your boyfriend. I mean no pressure; you don’t have to be my girlfriend or anything. We can keep this completely casual and keep having sex, wait that sounds wrong I didn’t mean it that way…”

You chuckled at his innocence and cut him off “Stop talking Clay, you’re not making this any better and for the record, I would love to be your girlfriend.”

You both cuddled for a while until you drifted off to sleep as you had a pretty long day. You woke up suddenly and panicked, your phone suggested that you were extremely late. You had a mother waiting for you to come home under the curfew timings. You got up putting your pants on. Clay was still in his sleeping mode “Hey, stay a little longer, please.”

“I wish I could Clay, but I have to go. I got a mother whose orders I have to respect.”

You gave a quick peck on Clay’s lips telling him bye and he pulled you back and gave you yet another peck. You couldn’t help but blush.

“You know what, as you always wanted you can borrow my hoodie.” Offered Clay.

You grabbed one of his maroon hoodies “Thank you so much Hoodie!”

As you walked out of the door you heard Clay’s parents coming into their house from their date and you certainly didn’t want your first impression as Clay’s girlfriend to be sneaking out at this hour of the night when your sole purpose was to study. You went into his room again “We have a problem.” You announced.

Clay got out of bed and started thinking of a plan to get you out without being noticed. As you both were thinking your eyes pondered upon the window of his room and then you looked at Clay.

“No no no no no, do not even think about it. That’s a bad idea. You can get hurt and I do not want that, there has to be a better way, let me think.”

“Oh, come on Clay. How high can this be? I can easily do it.” You questioned what you just said inside your mind, but you had to be at home in time and there wasn’t much left. “See Clay, I have to reach home in time otherwise my mum will ground me. Trust me I can do it. You just go downstairs and make sure none of your parents are in the backyard and none of them sees me jump or fall and yes please take care of my jacket it is my favorite one.”

“Okay…” you could hear the skepticism in his voice. He pulled you and kissed you “Okay.” Said his husky voice. His husky voice always got to you, and it seemed so sexy at that time, but you did not have time for this. You opened the window and made your way to the roof figuring out a way to jump in a way to get the least hurt.

Meanwhile, Clay was downstairs distracting his parents, you finally jumped though the landing wasn’t so smooth, you were alive and in one piece. Clay peeped through the window as you waved at him and he watched you go away. It was a hell of an experience, you always wanted to sneak out of your house like that someday but how does it matter if it was your boyfriend’s house or yours? On your way back home, you smiled like a freak, but you couldn’t help. Being a hopelessly romantic rom-com girl, you realized that your experience was nothing like movies. It was better because it was real.

Shower your love by liking and commenting on the post. Refrain from copying, plagiarism, or posting on any other platform.

THANK YOU!!!

P.S.: I also upload on Wattpad @immafreakingmoonstone, feel free to check out my account :)

[cookybananas]

Ⓜ Ⓐ Ⓢ Ⓣ Ⓔ Ⓡ Ⓛ Ⓘ Ⓢ Ⓣ

credit to @cafekitsune for the divider! ༺♥༻❀༺♥༻ Blurbs ༺♥༻❀༺♥༻ ➨ Anakin and Obi-wan Saving Slave!Reader

༺♥༻❀༺♥༻ One Shots ༺♥༻❀༺♥༻

➨ This Wasn't The Plan - {Former!Anakin Skywalker x Reader} ➨ It's Casual Right? - {Modern!Anakin Skywalker x Reader} ➨ The Aftermath - {Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker x Deceased!Reader}

➨ Into You - {Unburnt/Darth Vader x Reader}

༺♥༻❀༺♥༻ Mini-Series ༺♥༻❀༺♥༻ ➨ Do I Know You? - {Burnt!Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker x Reader} - Part I ➺ Part II ➨ It's Been a Long Time, Old Friend - {Unburnt!Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker x Reader} - Part I ➺ Part II ➺ Part III

[sockiess]

OFFICIAL MASTERLIST

Requests: Open! (please request things!)

Sam Monroe:

Love is a gentle thing

So Rich, So Pretty

A rebel without a clue

Piercing

Hey Emo Boy! (NSFW)

Pregnancy

we might as well just fuck (NSFW)

Excuse me?

Clay Beresford:

Best day of the year (NSFW)

Scott Barringer:

Listen to Iron Maiden with me

Pretty girl

Spiderman! Scott Barringer

Nail Polish

Frenemies part 1

Frenemies part 2

Hickeys

Idiots in love

So kiss me

Tatted Up

Anakin Skywalker:

Nerdy Boy

[broz0neglitters]

I wanna cut you outta my dreams 'Til I'm bleeding out 🩸

Warning: Cuss words, depression, angst, Branch using ring-pops.

Ever since Branch brothers walked out on him since he was a baby and left him to fight and rise himself he was on his own without his brothers through out his life but ever since his brothers came back to his life to go on a mission to save floyd from the superstar twins.

Althought Branch was happy to see his brother again but another part of him just feels like he couldn't forgive them for what they have done to him he can't face facts that they left him as a baby and just appear in his life once again what his brothers dosen't know that poor branch has been gray his whole life after Grandma Rosiepuff death and even doe poppy helped him find his true color but branch still suffer from depression he just wants a literal family; he just wishes that his grandma had never got eaten and well most of all for his brother who he looks up to leave him all alone...

During branch days in his bunker he would look at the picture frame of his grandma and his brothers he would spend hours crying cause he miss them he couldn't even sing branch literally waited for any one of his brothers to come back and at least see him but never did came

As Branch shed a tears he remember something he knew why he was crying super hard even doe he doesn't expect John Dory, Bruce or clay to ever returned but he expected floyd to return because floyd kept his promise which got branch to shed a tear which to the point they are flowing down like a river...

-FlashBack-

"Do you promise to return?" baby branch asked "I promise with all of my heart baby branch." floyd said as they exchange a pinky promise as floyd looked at branch one last time as he gave baby branch a soft smile and left as branch wave goodbye and it was the last time he had ever saw floyd and his three other brothers

-End of Flashback-

The thought of it made branch threw the picture frame of all five of them which the galss shatter into peices as he picked up the photo he hid it somewhere that he can not see or ever find because he doesn't want to see floyd lying face or his other brothers...

Branch felt super paralyzed to the point where he couldn't move because he was fill with so much anger he wasn't even sad at this point he was rather more angry than sad But he can't explain why he is terrified something must be bugging him or maybe he was  terrified of telling his brother how he truly felt when they left him all alone and never came back he was scared that he would make them leave him again and never come back...

Branch has been locked up in his bunker ever since well his grandma death and how bergans were literally eating happy little singing trolls "I don't wanna touch the sky no more." Branch said to himself and he remains hidden in his bunker crying his poor heart out because he was the reason that Grandma Rosiepuff got eaten he was the reason why his older brother left and never came back for him...

Too this point branch was starting to use the ring-pop as an escape because branch couldn't handle his pain so he just needed something to numb himself so he'll forget why he was so angry and upset it made branch felt good and it causes branch to stop feeling like he was the reason why his family left him. It's been way too long at this point that branch doesn't want to get high no more he just wants to see his brothers again but it was hard too.

After saving floyd it tooks days for floyd to recover but he was doing fine now thanks to bruce care as they all gather at branch bunker for a mini bro reunion and to catch up all the brothers wanted to know what branch has been up too ever since they left and floyd was impressed that branch actually build a bunker just like he had said he would when he was little

As much as he wanted to tell his bro everything but branch feels like he just need to get something off his chest as he took a deep breath in and let it go slowly "I've been meaning to say something too all of you." branch said "First of all, Fuck you even floyd who lied to a baby and said he would come back and never returned I was expecting for you all to returned and then grandma got eaten so sorry floyd I didn't take good care of grandma I was busy singing my heart out hoping you all would come back and grandma save me from getting eaten." Branch said angirly

As Floyd put his arms on branch shoulder to clam him down "Branch, I truly did want to come back but I got catpure by Velvet and Veneer and I'm speaking the truth." Floyd said "I did come back to the tree but I just assume you all were dead til the-" But John Dory was cut off by branch "yeah I heard you told me." branch said as he looked over at clay and bruce with death stare that is even scarier than when grandma rosiepuff used to gave to them when they were kids when ever they misbehave...

Bruce had no excuses beside he was a father and he was married but clay he had alot of nerves not ever returning to the tree before the bergans escape "I wanted to return but I was gulity I didn't want to show my face because I was ashame and I try to find you when we were escaping but I couldn't find you then we got trapped." Clay said

Branch had heard enough of his brother sad story he didn't care how sad his brother story were it doesn't give them an excuse to leave branch and never came back as branch turned away from his brothers as he found a picture that he swore that he would never look at again but he knew where he hid it when he broke the picture frame

As branch unfold the picture of them it was during their brozone days they were all happy branch wish it was like that but nothing last forever as his brother worried about him as bruce step and reach for branch "are you alright?" he asked softly as branch broke down in tears "I Just want you out of my life." Branch said as he walked over as his brothers followed him as branch took a lighter that he had as he burn the picture of them into ashes as John dory quickly put out the fire "Branch please talk to us we're here to help-" But was cut off with by branch who was fill with anger rather than sadness

"NO, YOU ALL THOUGHT YOU COULD JUST COME BACK INTO MY LIFE AND PRETEND THAT EVERYTHING WAS FINE AND YOU ALL ACT LIKE YOU HAD NEVER LEFT ME!" Branch said "Branch we understand you're angry but can we talk it out?" bruce said he was in dad mode at this point

"I wanna cut you outta my dreams 'Til I'm bleeding out." Branch said as all of the brother felt bad that they weren't in his lives long enough and they left him and didn't get to see him grow up "I wanna cut you outta my mind so You all can leave me and please never come back because I don't have brothers, I keep telling myself I don't need it anymore because the day you all left me is the day I have no Brothers." branch said

As the four older brothers felt their heart aching and broken into pieces when branch said they were no longer his brother but they knew it was their fault they should had never left him or atleast returned and visit him but Floyd felt the most gulity out of all of them cause he lied he fucking lied floyd was always branch favorites but not anymore.

As Much as branch felt bad for telling his brother that but it was a part of him that wanted his brothers to know that he was piss and that they were no longer his brothers... And part of him felt bad because they came back just to be with him again and he let his anger get the best of him and drive his brother away so branch went back to crying in tears of sadness...

Anyways, Hope you enjoyed reading my mini fanfic I haven't wrote one in a while so hope is not too crappy but anyways I have a personal Instagram account so fill free to follow me (Transeyo) to keep up with me irl when i'm not writing any trolls headcanon haha

Anyways, Happy late Halloween hope you all had a great and safe halloween I'll be writing more Headcanons/Fanfic soons

(Update on SMUT/NSFW: I Do plan on writing it pretty soon but don't have time for it but in the mean time I will continue writing non-SMUT/NSFW so it'd be a while before I write those again just a update ;D)

[liebgotts-lovergirl]

Fire On Fire: Chapter 17

(Ch. 16) ... (Ch. 1)

II Gallery II Symbol Guide II

Summary: It seems like the only memories that have returned are the ones Alix doesn't want to remember and when she hits her breaking point, Joe is determined to be there for her every step of the way. He may not know what exactly she's been through but he knows she's been through enough.

WARNINGS: ANGSTY. Trust issues, PTSD episode (flashbacks & panic attack specifically), domestic violence/abuse

A/N: HOOOOOOO BOY, this one really puts the HURT in Hurt/Comfort, folks, so buckle up for some backstory bc this one gets Dark.

Taglist: @latibvles @softguarnere @lieutenant-speirs @mccall-muffin @parajumpboots @brassknucklespeirs @hxad-ovxr-hxart @holdingforgeneralhugs @sleepisforcowards @emmythespacecowgirl @vibing-away

Contemporary: September 22nd, 1944. Zetten-Andelot, Netherlands.

After his disastrous exit the day prior, Alix hadn't expected to see Joe Liebgott ever again.

But nevertheless, when she awoke the next morning and peered over the side of her cot, there he was, lying on the dusty hardwood floor, asleep, with his bunched-up jacket under his head and a rifle by his side.

"Sad, isn't it?" Nixon remarked dryly, following her gaze to the paratrooper's slumbering form.

"One of our best attack-dogs and he's been here all night, waiting for you like a lost fucking puppy." 

"What?" the agent breathed softly, trying to process what her handler had said. "You're kidding."

Why? Why would he bother?

Nixon chuckled and closed the files he had been leafing through, seemingly delighted to take a break for a little bit of gossip.

"Kid's crazy" the intelligence officer commented wryly, taking a stab at the air with his pen for emphasis.

"Whether crazy about you or just crazy remains to be seen. But I heard he even paid Penkala twenty bucks to take over guarding prisoners so he could be here, if you can believe it."

Alix just stared blankly, still grappling with the news.

Nothing was making sense.

She and Joe couldn't have been together in that way..They just couldn't have been.

There was no way someone like him would want someone as damaged as her when he could have anyone...

And besides, Alix reasoned. Fraternization is forbidden.

And even if it wasn't, her mother never would have allowed it.

But even still, it would have been her first real relationship since...So if it had been real, like he seemed convinced it was... surely she would remember...Wouldn't she?

"I can't," she mumbled, feeling a cold wave of nausea sweep over her in her confusion. "I can't believe it."

"Well you'd better start, Ziskeit," a husky voice yawned from below. "'Cause it's true."

Alix glanced toward the noise and saw that the paratrooper from the day prior was awake now, stretching his long legs out in front of him and propping himself up on his elbows with another languid yawn.

The soft morning light pouring in through the nearby window made the room seem several degrees warmer than the icy September air outside and the bright flecks of scattered gold in his eyes seemed to spark in its glow, illuminating them like sunshine through a glass of whiskey.

Even with the mud and grime smeared haphazardly across his face like camo paint, Alix couldn't help but stare as the paratrooper fished a loose cigarette from his pocket.

Eyeing him carefully, it was easy to see how startlingly handsome Joe was, but not in the usual way. He wasn't clean-cut and upper-crust, the type she could bring home to her family. Instead, he was ruggedly attractive, all rough edges and roguish grins that could've brought her to her knees in an instant.

Noticing her gaze, Joe shot her a playful wink.

"Take a picture, gorgeous," he teased. "It'll last longer."

"You're incorrigible," Alix managed lamely.

Joe just shrugged with a wicked grin that made her stomach turn dizzy somersaults.

"Eh, you love it," he remarked cockily, running a hand through his thick brown hair in a vain effort to tame it.

The smugness of his tone made Alix roll her eyes but a grudging smile quirked up the corners of her lips anyway.

"There it is!" Joe announced with a sudden burst of energy lighting up his face. "There's that gorgeous fuckin' smile I been waiting on. Jesus, I missed that."

Alix flushed, suddenly even more self-conscious, when she heard a muffled knocking sound from the other side of her cot, where her case officer was standing, dramatically banging his head against the wall.

"Alright, that's it," he sighed exasperatedly once he had her attention. "I'm out of here. Can't get any fucking reports done with you two lovebirds driving me to drink."

Her handler threw back one last round of liquor from his flask for emphasis.

"Short drive," Alix quipped easily and Nixon choked on his whiskey, coughing.

"Well on second thought, just for that little comment, I think I'll take my sweet time," her handler snarked once he'd recovered, reaching over to the bedside table where he'd stashed another stack of files with a mischievous expression.

As he sifted through the pages of each file, making sure nothing was missing, Nixon was unusually quiet and Alix found herself letting out a slow sigh of relief that he hadn't done anything petty...just as the final folder snapped shut.

"You crazy kids have fun now," Nixon remarked, a Cheshire Cat grin spreading across his face as he noticed Alix's cheeks blossoming a vibrant shade of fuchsia.

"Oh and Lieb--"

He shifted the folders to his opposite arm so he could point directly to the younger paratrooper, who was looking from mentor to mentee with a bemused smirk like he was watching at tennis match.

"Wrap it before you tap it, m'kay? That's a fucking order."

"Yes sir," Joe replied with a lazy salute and Nixon, apparently satisfied with this level of humiliation, made his exit, leaving Alix to cover her face in embarrassment as some nearby patients snickered.

∆∆━━━━∆∆━━━∆∆━━━∆∆

"Is he that much of an asshole to everyone else or am I just special?" Alix groaned once she was sure her mentor was out of earshot.

"Nixon? Never could tell," Joe answered with a good-natured shrug. "But he spends most of his time with other officers so it's not like us fuckin' grunts see much of him anyhow."

Alix shifted positions on the rusty metal bedframe, which creaked loudly in complaint at every movement, creating a minor vacancy halfway between the foot of the bed and the top.

She didn't want to be too forward or give this guy any ideas but at the same time, she couldn't deny that there was a part of her that was intrigued by him and wanted to know more.

Seemingly oblivious to her reservations, Joe was still lounging on the hard floor beside the bed, smoking yet another cigarette and lightly fingering the worn Magen David pendant linked to his dog tags as though he was checking to be sure it was still there.

"You don't have to stay on the floor, you know," Alix informed him awkwardly, finally working up the courage to address it directly. "I know it's probably not too comfortable down there."

"Eh, 's not too bad," Joe shrugged but he stood up anyway, hooking his thumbs in his pockets.

The young paratrooper hovered for a moment, shifting from foot to foot nervously as though waiting for something.

Then it occurred to her: He was waiting for her invitation.

Alix blinked, startled by this newfound realization.

Clay never would have sought her permission for anything; the world had to revolve around him and him only.

The young spy nibbled on her lip for a moment, trying to find the words to encourage the paratrooper, -- Joe, she kept reminding herself. His name is Joe-- to sit on the bed without him taking it the wrong way.

But she didn't want to seem too familiar...Not so soon.

Joe was leaning one shoulder against the wall casually, as though he'd always belonged there, his lanky frame casting a shadow over Alix and shielding her from the bright sunlight.

"Thanks for the shade," she joked and Joe inclined his head politely but she could see something more behind the smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

"Anytime, gorgeous, anytime." 

His voice was husky and his posture self-assured, a little cocky even, but not arrogant.

Leaning against the wall like that and smoking his cigarette, his deep brown eyes tracing her every feature as though trying to figure out a puzzle, he reminded her of those striking, hardboiled P.I.s in the crime melodramas she used to sneak out to see as a kid.

"You doin' alright, Ziskeit?"

He cocked his head and Alix finally found her voice.

"Shit, yeah, I'm...I'm swell," she stammered, inwardly cursing her head injury.

She was nervous enough in front of this attractive stranger on top of it, finding the words for a normal conversation felt like groping around in the dark for a light switch. "Um...Would you...Do you wanna sit down?"

"Sure thing, Zees, just tell me where ya want me."

As close as you want to be, Alix wanted to say but she banished those thoughts as quickly as they'd come.

It wasn't proper to be so forward. What would her mother say?

Perhaps it was simply a trick of the light but the way his warm brown eyes crinkled when he smiled made Alix's stomach do another little somersault of glee and she had to avert her eyes to avoid the heat she could feel beginning to creep up her cheeks.

Taking his place near the middle of the bed, Joe's frame was so slight that the metal didn't even creak.

Unsure of what to say or do next, a minute passed between them as the pair were seemingly struck with an uncommon shyness, each flushing slightly when the other would sneak a glance out of the corner of their eye.

There was a brief silence and Alix found herself praying hoping that her heartbeat wasn't palpable through the bed.

Just say something, Alix, she urged herself as though coaxing a child with stage-fright. Use your words.

But it seemed Joe had the same thought because they both began to speak at the same time, cutting each other off and causing them both to dissolve into nervous laughter.

"Well shit," Joe remarked, his face seeming to light up at the sound of Alix's giggles.

Rubbing the back of his neck with his right hand, he gestured politely for Alix to continue with his left.

"I was just going to ask where you're from," she replied with a weak smile, inwardly berating herself for asking such a stupid question.

God, she hated small-talk.

Joe's smile faded almost instantly as the severity of her amnesia finally seemed to hit him.

She really didn't know him.

Realizing the unintended weight of her words, Alix dropped her gaze to the stiff sheets of her cot, studying each wrinkle instead and hoping that Joe would stop looking at her like that.

Like a kicked puppy.

Her stomach twisted in knots; she hadn't meant to hurt him but she really couldn't remember.

Should she have lied?

For a second, Joe looked conflicted, like a part of him wanted to hold her and the other part wanted to break down.

But instead, he did neither, dropping his cigarette to the ground and grinding it out beneath his heel with vigor. 

With a sad smile, he quickly tugged another from his pocket and lit it, hands still quivering slightly but whether from nerves or the chilly autumn air, who could say?

"I'd offer ya one, Ziskeit, but I don't think you're 'sposed to have 'em until you're better."

"I don't care," Alix remarked, only half-joking. "I'd take it if you offered."

Joe shook his head and took a slow drag, leaning away from her for the exhale to ensure she didn't get any smoke in her face.

"Well I ain't offering so you can get that idea outta your head right now, Zees." His tone was affectionate but firm and Alix let out a defeated sigh.

His protectiveness was cute but that didn't mean it wasn't frustrating.

Another few minutes passed uneventfully and Alix found herself studying him again.

His face was thin and a bit pointed with an attractive, almost fox-like cleverness about it.

She got the feeling that in his downtime, he could be amazingly quick-witted, always dancing two steps ahead of every smart remark that came his way. 

"Hey, penny for your thoughts, Zees?" Joe gave her shoulder a gentle nudge, his arm quickly brushing hers, leaving a warm trail of tingles behind. "You been awful quiet."

Shit.

Alix felt her stomach drop and in her surprise at being caught staring again, she blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"You smoke a lot."

Joe chuckled and Alix wanted nothing more than to crawl into a hole and die.

"I'm from Frisco," he responded, his deep brown eyes seeming to sparkle with a mixture of humor and affection in the light.

"We do that."

There's no way they dated, Alix surmised from the warmth in the paratrooper's gaze. There's no way he could still look at her like that if they had.

╔══  • 🖤🖤 • 🖤🖤 • 🖤🖤 • ══╗

6 Years Prior: December 1937. Philadelphia, USA.

"For God's sake, Alix, this is exhausting. You're being ridiculous."

"Oh I'm being ridiculous?!"

The sixteen year old snatched the necklace from her neck and hurled it at her fiancé next to her with such force that the string snapped, sending pearls tinkling sporadically across the driver's side like tiny comets shooting through the air.

"I wasn't the one with my tongue down some other girl's throat, Clay!"

"Look, I already told you, it was a mistake, alright?" The eighteen year old threw up his hands in exasperation. "What more do you want?!"

"Giving me a bracelet with another girl's name engraved on it was a mistake," Alix pushed, her voice quavering.

"Making out with her at our fucking engagement party is not a 'mistake', Clay! It's a choice!"

"I can't believe you're doing this now." Clayton shook his head reproachfully, still keeping his blue-green eyes locked on the road ahead. "We were having such a good night."

"How long has it been going on? With her?

Her chest ached but she needed to know the truth.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb, Clay." Alix's voice sounded hollow even to her and her chest felt like it was filling with ice water, like she was drowning. "The blonde girl. How. Long."

"Since the beginning."

It was an answer so quick but so cruel that for a second, Alix was blindsided. Stunned, she blinked in shock, the breath momentarily knocked out of her, and all she could do was stare helplessly at her fiance, whose face was as cold and expressionless as marble.

"W-What?"

"Since the beginning," he repeated as though she hadn't heard him.

"But why?" the sixteen year old croaked, her voice breaking. "I thought...You said you loved me?"

"And you believed me? Good God," Clayton marveled, reaching over to sling an arm around her shoulders in an almost mocking gesture of affection. "Your father's right. You really are naïve."

"Don't touch me please!" she snapped, the very feeling of his hand on her arm making her want to claw her own skin off.

She began to retreat from him, to turn away, but he seized a mass of her curly black hair in his free hand and yanked her close enough that she could feel his repulsive breath on her skin like a rabid dog's fangs hovering by her ear.

"I'll do what I fucking want," he snarled before releasing her with a shove, sending her right shoulder slamming painfully into the car door with a yelp.

With a huff of irritation, the eighteen year old returned both hands to the steering wheel, ignoring the quivering of the girl in the seat next to him.

There was a frigid quiet in the car, an almost sickening stillness before she broke it, rubbing her sore shoulder warily.

Her voice was small and broken-sounding and through the tears stinging her eyes, she turned to look at him but he ignored her, his knuckles turning white as he gripped the steering wheel.

She felt like she might choke at the sight, the not-so-distant memory of his hands locked around her throat making it hard to breathe.

"You said you'd never hurt me again," she managed in a voice barely above a whisper but Clayton rolled his eyes again.

"And if you'd stop running your goddamn mouth, I wouldn't have to."

╚══ • 🖤🖤 • 🖤🖤 • 🖤🖤 • ══╝

Contemporary: September 22nd, 1944. Zetten-Andelot, Netherlands.

A gentle tap on her shoulder brought Alix back to the present with a jolt.

Subconsciously, she knew the had been feather-light, more a glancing brush than anything, but it still caused the young spy to flinch away instinctively.

Her head was still buzzing and she remembered the doctor's lecture about stress being bad for her concussion but she couldn't help it: the sick thud of being slammed into the car door and the sharp pain that followed seemed to grow louder and louder, stronger and stronger, becoming a pounding in her ears.

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

Alix could feel herself beginning to tremble uncontrollably and her eyes began to sting, hot tears spilling over onto her cheeks before she could stop them. With every desperate, frenzied gulp for air, Alix's heart began to pound even faster and a feeling of terror crashed over her, threatening to break her like a wave on a rocky shore.

Run. She was shaking so violently that the whole bedframe seemed to rattle with her in her fear. You need to run.

But with her dislocated ankle, there was nowhere to go. Her head was pounding and her stomach twisted as though she might vomit.

The feeling of Clay yanking on her hair and shoving her into the door played over and over like a film reel in her mind and she gasped for air but there was none to be found.

Her head spinning, she put a hand to her heart, feeling it racing faster and faster, the buzzing in her ears only getting more intense with her rising panic.

Drowning. It felt like drowning.

The burning in her chest intensified as her shallow breaths increased, each ragged sob sending her further and further into a spiral.

Nothing was happening so why did the world feel like it was crashing down around her?

Was she losing her mind?

Joe noticed quicker than she would have liked.

"Hey..." he said softly. "Hey, you're okay, Ziskeit...You're okay..."

Alix let out a pained whimper, bad memories seeming to hit like flashes of lightning as Joe watched helplessly, running an anxious hand through his thick hair.

"What can I do, Zees?" he begged, trying to keep his voice calm despite the strained notes of concern and desperation. "Can I...Can I hold you? Is that okay? Or d'you want me to go? I can...Fuck, I can go, if-."

"Stay," she managed to choke out through her tears, the first sign of vulnerability she'd shown him recently. "Please stay."

That was all Joe needed to hear. Kicking off the floor, he boosted himself further back onto the bed, gingerly guiding her up with him. Drawing her into his arms, he cradled her as though she were made of glass, his hands ghosting over her skin as though she might shatter at any moment.

Her whole body was trembling, her breaths still coming in short gasps, and he drew her still closer, murmuring encouragements in English and what she assumed to be German as he eased her head gently to his chest.

"I'm here, Zees, I got you. I ain't goin' anywhere, I promise. I promise."

Heaving, Alix wrapped her good arm around him, her breathing still erratic as she buried her face in his chest.

"Ikh hob dikh lib, mein libinke. Mein ziskeit." he murmured and for a brief second, her tears seemed to slow.

That word...Zees-kite...It's not in English but for a second, it seems to cut through the terror. It feels familiar, warm, safe.

But within seconds, the panic has overwhelmed her again, smacking her down mercilessly every time she thinks they're through like a stormy sea, sending her crashing against the rocks and she flinched again, painful memories threatening to drag her to the ocean floor once more.

"Hey, hey Zees, come back," he urged her softly, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, careful to avoid the bandages.

"Your mind's tryna take you someplace else, okay, but don't let it. Come back to me, Ziskeit, I know you can. Stay here. You're safe, Zees, you're safe."

Brushing the flood of tears away, even as still more come running down her cheeks, Alix clung to him like a lifeline, doing her best to focus on the present moment, focus on the warmth of his body, the subtle rasp of his voice, the callouses on his fingers, built up from years of training.

Joe began to trace soothing circles into her back, still murmuring to her, never allowing the panic to go unchallenged for even a second.

"You gotta breathe, dollface. I know it's hard but you gotta try for me, okay? Atta girl. In...and out. In...and out."

Alix sniffled and tried her best to concentrate, focusing on taking one shaky breath in at a time.

"Good," the paratrooper affirmed, lightly stroking her hair as he kept her pressed close to his chest. "You're doin' real good, okay? Just like that: In...and out. That's my girl."

Slowly but surely, Alix began to calm and to his credit, Joe kept his promise: he never left her side.

They stayed locked in their embrace for what felt like hours as the world seemed to turn around them.

The aid station was in a constant state of overflow and it seemed like there was a never-ending stream of patients being rushed in and out by the few medical personnel they had, meaning that no one even batted an eye at the exhausted-looking paratrooper now occupying the same cot in the corner as the spy.

Small mercies, Alix supposed as she finally relaxed enough to drift off to sleep, still tangled with Joe. Small mercies.

[p1nkprincess444]

𝜗𝜚 ɪ ᴅɪᴅ ɪᴛ ᴀʟʟ ғᴏʀ ʟᴏᴠᴇ - ᴄʟᴀʏ ʀᴏᴀᴄʜ (ᴘᴀʀᴛ ғɪᴠᴇ) 𝜗𝜚

female!reader x clay roach

word count: 1,424

contents: 18+, fluff, angst, mentions of heroin

part one, part two, part three, part four

Clay spent the rest of the summer trying to get clean, but he couldn’t manage to keep it that way when school started back up. You didn’t notice at first until Clay became defensive when you tried to take off his sweater when you were in bed together.

Your hands were wandering down his body as they reached the hem of his shirt while your lips were locked in a passionate kiss. Clay’s hands grabbed your wrists as you began lifting his shirt. Your eyes locked on his as his hands were gripping yours with a bruising grip. He quickly let go of your wrists as he realized what he was doing. Your mind was racing as Clay’s lips were moving down your neck as his hands kneaded the flesh on your ass. Clay was desperate to distract you as he moved your hips to rock against his, but his efforts were useless as you moved to yank his shirt off. This caught Clay off guard as he tried to stop you but his attempt to fight was futile as you threw the shirt to the floor revealing his fresh track marks. Tears welled up in your eyes as you stared at them.

“ Baby- it- it’s not what it looks like.. ” His arms locked around you desperate to keep you there as you cried into his shoulder.He wished he could stop as he witnessed how much it hurt you that he was doing this to himself. 

All Clay could do was stroke your hair as you cried against his shoulder. The rest of the year you were told empty promises from Clay promising to get clean. He swore he would and everytime you believed and everytime he let you down. All of your friends told you that you could do better than “some drug addict”, but you never listened to them. You knew he was a sweet and considerate boy on the inside. He loved you and you loved him regardless of his issues. You could see the decline in Clay once more over the summer. You were trying so desperately to help him but your efforts all seemed to fail. No matter how many times you searched his room he always seemed to have a new hiding place. You felt defeated and torn down as you laid next to a sleeping Clay. You stared at him, your eyes scanning over his once full and plush cheeks that were now sunken in. He looked sickly and completely different then the boy you grew up with. He looked completely different from the boy you loved. 

In Clay’s senior year he became unhelpable. He was shooting almost every day, he was barely talking to you anymore, and always was at a party. You managed to make plans to come over when his parents were away on a trip. You sat on his bed as he planted sloppy open mouth kisses against your neck as his hands wandered between your thighs. 

“ Clay- stop, I can't.. I can’t do this anymore. ”

Your words caught Clay off guard as he looked up at you, “ What do you mean baby? ” 

His head was resting on your shoulder as he looked up at you with those perfect ocean blue eyes. 

“ Clay- I can’t watch you do this to yourself.. You look awful Clay, ” I pulled Clay up off the bed before I made him look at himself in the bathroom mirror. I pulled up his sweatshirt sleeves as I made him see his track marks. “ Look at what you’re doing to yourself, ” tears slid down my cheeks as I looked at his reflection in the mirror. “ I still love you- but I can’t watch you do this anymore.. So- it’s either me or heroin.” 

Clay stared at his sunken eyes in the mirror that had dark bags drooping underneath them. His gaze moved down to his arms that were covered in track marks. As he turned back to you he crumbled into your arms crying against your neck as his arms moved to cling to your waist. You slid down onto the cool tile of the bathroom floor as you shushed him while stroking his hair. His hands grasped onto your shirt as his tears stained the fabric. 

“ I love you but you’ve gotta get clean baby. ” My words were gentle as I stroked his hair.

“ I- I know I wanna be- be better for you. ”

The next few days you stayed with Clay as he fought his withdrawals. When he was vomiting you were tying his hair back. When he was burning up with a fever you were putting a cold rag on his forehead. 

Clay was trembling in my arms as he was burning up from a fever. “ It’s gonna be okay.. I’m here baby. ” I kept pressing gentle kisses to the crown of his head as I rubbed his back. 

His arms were wrapped snugly around your waist as his head laid in your lap. He was struggling, his body was craving the heroin as he laid with you. Eventually after a few hours he was able to fall asleep as he clung to you. His head was now pressed into your chest as he held you close to him like a child clinging to a teddy bear. 

It was hard but Clay managed to graduate sober. His features were finally full of life again as he smiled brightly in his graduation photos as he held his diploma out proudly. You met up with Clay back at his house that night. As soon as you crawled in through his windows his hands were all over you. It made you laugh the way he was so eager to get you undressed as he yanked your clothes off. 

You giggled as he tossed you back on his bed as if you weighed nothing. His lips connected with yours as he pushed your panties down your thighs. His movements were full of need and lust as he peppered your skin in kisses. Clay’s hands moved to push his boxers down as he murmured sweet things into your skin. 

“ You looked so fucking gorgeous all dressed up f’me. ”

He gave his cock a few strokes before slowly easing it into you. He smiled at the small sounds you made as he rocked his hips against yours slowly. “ Mm’ so happy you’re mine baby- all fuckin’ mine, ” his movements remained slow as he pressed sloppy open mouthed kisses against your neck and shoulder. 

“ I’m so proud of you baby- I love you Clay. ” 

His thrusts sped up as he heard your words, “ I love you angel. You’re my fucking world. ” 

His hands were planted firmly on the bed encasing either side of your head as he rutted his hips into yours. He loved you more than life itself, everything felt perfect in that moment he was able to make you happy again and he was finally clean. His lips locked with yours as his tongue pushed past your lips into your mouth. Your tongues fought for dominance as his hips slammed into yours. He slid one of his hands down between your legs as he pressed circles into your clit. Clay was desperate to make you cum first as he slammed into you harder. The noises that were slipping from your lips were growing louder making Clay clasp a hand over your mouth.

“ You know I love hearing you angel- but my parents aren’t a fan. ” His words were teasing as he thrusted deeper, earning a squeal from you that was suppressed by his hand. 

Clay had made sure to fuck you dumb before he spilled his cum deep inside of you. “ I love you y/n/n, I want you to be mine forever. ” He pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead before he rolled off of you. Everything was perfect again. 

(Bonus!!) 

A few years had passed since you had graduated highschool. Clay was carrying boxes up the staircase to your new apartment as you began unpacking things. Once he set the box down he wrapped his arms around you from behind as his hands rubbed your swollen belly.

“ Don’t overwork yourself angel, ” he pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek before he moved around you to place a gentle kiss on your stomach. 

Clay had always thought you were the most beautiful girl he had ever laid his eyes on, but he felt you hadn’t ever looked more gorgeous than now when you were so full with his child.